Saturday, September 29, 2012

Right Where I'm Supposed To Be

I have so many things I want to do.
The list is endless really.
I've been accused many times of being flaky, which is a stab and a stab that sometimes really gets to me, to be quite honest.
People who don't know me very well (and sometimes those who should know me best) think I'm flaky, I suppose because I like to talk about my ideas (maybe I shouldn't do that...)
I took their words to heart for a long time, and thought, "I just need to pick something and do it for the rest of my life and never look back," because that's what people told me I needed to do.

Yes, I have a lot of things I want to do...
Open a restaurant
Have a wedding cake/cupcake business
Open a non-profit for feeding/employing the homeless
Go back to school for nursing
Home school my kids
Send my kids to public school
Live inner city and have some sort of ministry for the
homeless/drug addicted/prostituted women there
Own/work at a floral boutique
Combine floral boutique and cake business for one big wedding business
Write a book

I know this sounds like a lot, and I have 
no intention of doing every single thing on that list.
These are dreams.
And here's the thing I understand now:
Dreaming is something God has put in me for the stage of life I'm in right now. He has put these things in my heart for a reason, and who knows, maybe a bunch of them will combine into one big thing, or maybe I will do several of them at different times in my life.
The fact that I have the desire or the thought running through my brain to do these things is okay, unless I never do a single one of them.
 I don't want to be a dreamer and never a doer.
I've known people like that, and they died never accomplishing anything.

So here's the point of all this.
I have weeks, sometimes months where I feel a restlessness inside of me, something that can't be contained or forgotten simply by turning on the TV for distraction. This is one of those weeks.
I've been struggling with myself all week, thinking I want to DO NOW!!
But as I pray about it and talk it out with my husband, I have a realization
that gives me peace once again.
Everything is for a season, and the reason it's okay for my ideas to be sort of all over the place is because
 right now is the baby season of life:)
I have a 15 month old, and another baby girl due in 6 short weeks.
Obviously this isn't the time to jump into trying to open a business!
It is my season to be still and wait upon the Lord.
It's my season to be a good mama to my babies.
And in the moments I have that are quiet, I can think of the possibilities for the years to come.
I have time to pray and seek the Lord's direction, to make a well thought-out plan before jumping into anything.
In fact, the more I've thought about this, the better it is, and I'm okay with people thinking I'm flaky. I'm dreaming of the future,
while enjoying the present.

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself, for times in the near future when I forget that I'm right where I'm supposed to be and 
start getting that restless feeling.
A reminder that God had made it clear several times (why do I constantly forget!) that this is a season to be at home, take care of my baby and pregnant body, and soon another baby (and a post-pregnant body!)
This is a season to grow in my relationship with him, to grow in my knowledge of the Word, and to be a good, supportive wife to my husband (not that those things will ever go out of season!)
So my mind is put back at ease.
 Take care of the things at hand, and know that God has a plan for my life, and as long as I'm diligent to seek after him and his will, I don't have to worry about missing anything!

I am right where I'm supposed to be:)


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