Monday, October 8, 2012

Random Thoughts From a Great Weekend

Lots of random thoughts from the weekend...
Didn't have time to write them at the time, so here's what's left of them early Monday morning,
quickly before they are washed away by the newness of the week as things start to get busy.

I felt good yesterday, so at 35 weeks, we decided to attempt a hike,
the one I was hoping to get to the top of each month of pregnancy.
Massive failure--if getting to the top is what I'm going by.
But still a success--especially when I think of what Brad said: every step for me is like doing a front squat, what with all that weight loaded up out in front of me.
I don't know about all that, but hey, we hiked, I was out of breath and sore today, so it was a workout and that's what's important! (I really wanted to make it to the top though!!!)

Addison was cranky and ready to get out of her pack less than halfway through.
I found a pretty awesome way to keep her happy:
put a handful of goldfish in the hood of her dad's sweatshirt:)
This kept her happy for the remainder of the hike!

I'm so enjoying this time with Addison and Brad. Just being a family of 3.
Of course I'm excited about having another baby and I know I'll love being a family of 4.
But for now, just soaking up our time with her.
Last night she was overly tired and past the point of being crabby...and on to the point of being ridiculously silly. Hysterical.
Brad and I were in her room sorting stuff, and she was running around in her diaper looking extra chubby and just being a goofball.
I mostly sat and directed Brad as to where things needed to go, and at some point looked at the clock and realized I'd been sitting just watching her for an hour.
Normally I would feel like an hour wasted. But not last night. I just want to enjoy her and give her all the attention she wants, before my attention has to be shared by two babies!
I want to allow my mind to slow down, to stop thinking of a thousand things all the time, and just be fully present with her. She's such a joy to be around!

Honestly, she much prefers playing with things like giant plastic bowls or a bib she found than toys.
I think it's great. She's creative!:)

Something on my mind a bit...
I hope I'm not a whiner. I hate being around people who whine.
I feel like I've whined quite a bit these past few weeks. Maybe I'm hyper-sensitive to every word that comes out of my mouth because I'm so paranoid of ever sounding like a whiner.
I don't know.
It's been a hard last couple of weeks being pregnant...lots of small problems, combined with serious fatigue that I suppose is normal for the end of pregnancy. And when people have asked how I'm doing, I wish, looking back on those few weeks, I had said less.
Not that I went into too much great detail, but still.
Lots of women have huge problems compared to the things I've been dealing with...
problems like having a baby 12 weeks premature and having to live in neonatal for 2 months.
Or losing a baby. Or being on true bed rest. Or so many other really, really hard things.
The next 5 weeks, I'm determined to say I'm doing wonderful, when asked how am I doing.
Not to tell a lie. But really in the grand scheme of things, I am doing wonderful!

Last but not least, something so simple but something to really think about popped into my head last night...
What is more important to me...which is my greater goal:
Do I want to increase my standard of living, or my standard of giving?

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