Friday, March 15, 2013

The Girl At the Park

My little sickie. Poor thing looked like this (above) most of the past few days.
Doing much better today though:)


Do you ever talk to someone and afterwards you realize maybe God orchestrated your meeting?
A divine encounter you might call it...
I had one of those yesterday.
I had finally got us out of the house after a week of being indoors, as all of us had been sick all week.
We loaded up the double stroller and went for a walk to take advantage of the sixty-something degree day--something lovely and rare in March!
 I told Addison we would stop at the park on our way back, and as we got within a block of the little park by our house, I noticed a couple of little ones around Addison's age playing.
Then I noticed their mom, and insecurity almost got the best of me.
See, as I already mentioned, this was sick week at the Knox house, and although I felt okay, Lily was still a miserable mess, and I had been non-stop holding her so I was looking scrubby and shabby, and that's an understatement. Sweats, a T and ugly hair were my apparel for our little outing and I was not a pretty sight!
Well this adorable skinny little mama had the cutest little outfit on and her hair fixed all cute...I know, I sound so ridiculous, but admit it, you can relate at some point in time!
I wish I never had the problem of feeling insecure, but every once in a while, it just creeps in ever so slyly.
Ok anyhow, I am not so shallow and insecure as to let these feelings totally take over, so of course I took Addison to the park anyway, smiled and said hello to miss adorable mom, and walked over to the swings.

Let me just say...Insecurity is not a thought from God, which means it has to come from the enemy.
I do believe, the enemy did not want me to meet this girl or have the conversation we had.
He didn't want me to be encouraged or motivated in the way she motivated me.
So he whispered those thoughts of 'she's cute, I look hideous' in my mind.
But when the Holy Spirit dwells in us, we may still have those negative thoughts, but we aren't a slave to them anymore. We overcome, because we are led by Christ, not our flesh.

I won't go into detail of our brief conversation, but I will say that the Lord used her as a gentle reminder to me. Instead of God slapping me or something, he lovingly spoke to me through a sister in Christ (who happened to be the kids' nanny, not mom).
She didn't have to say anything directly...obviously she had never met me before, and she has no idea how God used her to speak to me yesterday...it was simply her demeanor and soft-spoken yet bold, humble yet confident words that struck something deep within me.
You see, there are some things in my life that I had started getting lazy about; not physically lazy, but lazy in remembering to be intentional and focused on in certain areas of my life in which I struggle.
There are things that, if I don't ask God for help with daily and then consciously make an effort with, I fail miserably.
The girl at the park was overflowing with the the specific qualities that I fall desperately short of possessing without a daily dose of specific scripture meditation and intentional prayer asking for God's grace in these areas.

In addition to what the Lord showed me yesterday, there were more lessons learned!
Number one, be listening for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. He's creative and desperately wants to get our attention...he might just send someone to chit chat with you at the park, grocery store, wherever,
but we have to quiet our spirits and not be so full of the world's distractions so that we can recognize when he speaks to us.
Number two, simply put we all know that who we are matters more than how we look, but as women,
sometimes we fall into the trap...you know the trap I'm talking about!
We get focused on the giant pimple or the extra ten pounds we've put on; the squishy belly that takes forever to go away after having a baby; a worse than bad hair day; a wardrobe we hate at the moment. Pick your poison. We all have our issues.
Why is it sometimes so hard to cultivate inner beauty? Because that takes a lot more work than fixing our hair, concealing a pimple, buying a cute new outfit, hitting the gym...
But it's so much more important and a thousand times more rewarding, plus the Bible says to, so it's not really optional!
I desperately want to be a godly woman. That is my number one priority; that's my heart.
So it's disturbing to me that yesterday, I almost missed out on an opportunity to hear from the Holy Spirit because I was thinking about how ugly I thought I looked. Sounds so ridiculous, but it's true.
I don't consider myself an insecure person in general, nor extremely superficial; you can find me (proudly) in sweats pretty often in fact:)
The point is, in all honesty, I still succumb to those thoughts on occasion.
I don't know where I'm going with all this anymore. I'm rambling at this point.
Just want to encourage you...don't miss out on opportunities because you're having one of those 'moments'!!
You know the verse as well as me...
"Charm is deceptive and beauty fades, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

And as we used to say as kids...TGIF!
Seriously. Thank. God. It's. Friday.
Hope you have a beautiful, blessed weekend.
And if you haven't heard this new song by Israel Houghton, Moving Forward, you should check it out here .
:)

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