Saturday, April 20, 2013

Not a Spirit of Fear

Saturday, 6 in the morning, my body wakes itself up.
No sleeping in for this mama, even though the baby isn't even up yet! Oh well. I get to watch the sun rise:) One of my favorite times of day.

I haven't posted in awhile...first, we didn't have internet for a few days.
Then, I wrote this big long heartfelt piece that I was totally moved to write one night,
and when I went back to edit and add a couple of verses at the end, I deleted the whole thing!
Then, yesterday, I had a few minutes where the girls naps actually overlapped,
so I started another post, got almost completely done with that, and somehow that one got deleted too!

Seeing how Lily will most likely wake up in a few minutes here, I'm attempting post #3 but I'm going to keep it super short...maybe this one will actually work!
And maybe just maybe the first one was mysteriously erased because I said too much.
Writing is cathartic for me, and in this case, I think writing was exactly what I needed, but not necessarily what I needed to put out on the web.
This time, I'll just do a quick recap of the very loooong post I originally wrote...

I saw a quote on Instagram a few days ago that hit me hard.
It probably won't seem earth-shattering to you, but for me, I struggle with fear, so I loved this:

Be determined that your 
is not going to be ruled
by fear, but by

It's funny, I am fearless in areas that I assume many people may have fear,
but completely irrational fears somehow creep their way in to my brain.
My husband and I want to do inner city ministry someday. He wants to teach in an inner city school.
This is probably something to be legitimately fearful about. Something you would have to seriously pray about. But it excites me.
However, I worry about car accidents, about terminal illness taking me or someone in my family.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not walking around 24/7 worried about these things.
I'll liken it to a sunny warm day. You're just right in the sun, enjoying it's heat after a long cold winter.
And every so often, a pesky little cloud rolls over the sun, chilling you for a few moments until it passes.
So it is with my mind and fear. It can be the greatest day, but from out of nowhere, a 'cloud' rolls over and dampens things for a moment.
I'll spare you the details of what my worries entail, but I worry about terrible things!
(Feel free to comment if you struggle with this...I usually feel like I'm the only one who worries needlessly)
Anyway, I'm tired of it, and I loved that quote...
I want not only my life, but my mind to be ruled by God's Word.
And his word says so much about worry and fear.
To mention just a couple of places it talks about this:

2 Timothy 1:7 says that
We are not given a spirit of timidity or fear, but of power, love and self-control.

And God actually says it as a command in Joshua 1:
Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,
for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

In Philippians 6, Paul tells us,
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and the peace that passes understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

There's so much more, but I'll end with Jesus' words from the Sermon on the Mount:
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
.....Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own.

There you have it.
Stop worrying! (talking to myself...and you if you have any fears!)

Well Happy Saturday!
Hope it's a lovely weekend for you.

Lily Grace, 5 months old already. 
Sweetest little thing:)

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