Friday, June 28, 2013

Surgery Day

After many months of decision making, followed by waiting, more waiting, and a looong week of pre-surgery anticipation and minor jitters here and there...MY GALLBLADDER IS GONE!!! Praise. The. Lord! That stinking little organ has been making me one sick mama for 7 months now, and as hard as I tried to keep it by controlling my diet, it finally had to go. It was not into negotiating with me.

I thought I would be nervous as all get out, but the Lord gave me such tremendous peace, the only weak moment I had was as I looked down the long hallway at Brad and Lily one last time before the operating room doors shut. I almost cried, but pulled it together quickly and told myself to stop being silly...it's only gallbladder surgery, not heart surgery!!!

The operating room was kind of surreal...like something you only want to see in the movies happening to actors and not in real life. Cold. Sterile. Unnaturally bright. A table...not a hospital bed, just a table. Doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists, all buzzing around with only their eyes peaking out of their surgical masks and caps. They had me lay down, and proceeded to strap my arms down and put some weirdo contraptions around my calves. Then "oxygen only" was put over my face. I asked if they had started the gas and they said no...then I fell asleep I guess. Liars!:) I was told they stuck a tube down my throat, which is a slightly disturbing thought, but I don't remember it and my throat doesn't hurt, so that's no big deal I guess. Everything went perfectly well. Here's what's crazy: Obviously I'm in some pain, the kind that naturally comes with having surgery. But, the overall sick feeling, the taking two bites and being full and swollen for hours, and the back pain (the gallbladder can attack your back too...that's where it got me the worst most days) are gone. Immediately. I just had a bowl of cereal and I'm FINE!

Let me just say, I tend to be a worrier by nature. Especially when it comes to life and death. I'm not afraid to die; I'm afraid to leave my family behind. It's something the Lord and I have been working on a lot lately...Him, leading me to scripture; me, praying and meditating on the scripture He shows me.
Apparently it's worked. I expected to be terrified going in. To write 'just in case' notes to the girls and Brad before leaving for the hospital. But I didn't. I had faith and peace and just felt Him with me, and for the first time, I knew it was in His hands and whatever happened, He was (and always is) in control.
What a load off! It's exhausting, mentally, to try to be in control instead of trusting the Lord.

Brad prayed with me last night as well as in the car this morning, and I intentionally put the Chris Tomlin song in my head, Whom Shall I Fear. It goes like this:

I know who goes before me,
I know who stands behind.
The God of angel armies,
Is always by my side.

The one who reigns forever,
He is a friend of mine.
The God of angel armies,
Is always by my side.

.....

Nothing formed against me shall stand,
You hold the whole world in your hand.
I'm holding on to your promises,
You are faithful, you are faithful...

And as I sang in my head the part about holding on to His promises, this was the verse that came to my mind:

Psalm 128
Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in obedience to Him...
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Yes, this will be the blessing of the man who fears the Lord.

This gave me great comfort and I truly felt the Lord speaking to me: "Do not worry! I've got you! Your husband fears me and is obedient to me...I will bless him for it and be faithful in this promise."
Don't misunderstand me. I'm aware that any one of us could die at any moment, and the Lord can and will use all things for good if we love him. But in this circumstance today, I had peace that I would be just fine and return home to be a wife and mom. (I know I sound crazy...it was outpatient surgery, no big deal. I just had thoughts creep in here and there of me having some reaction to the anesthesia and not ever waking up. Mommy thoughts. You know, the ones that weren't around until I had babies.)

So I just wanted to share my testimony of how good God is. How if we are honest about our anxieties (which he already knows anyway), and bring them to Him and seek His face in all things, He is faithful, so faithful! He took this worrywart and helped my climb up on the table to get cut on with no fear, just peace. Amazing, I tell you!

I'm excited to have this time to recover. Lots of quiet time to refresh and relax and heal, and prayerfully to come out on the other side with new energy and life that's been lacking. 

I am one thankful, grateful woman today! To celebrate, here are some gross pictures! Pay no attention to the two-babies-in-two-years jello belly I'm rockin'.






Thanks for all of you, friends and family, who were praying for smooth surgery this morning:)

Recovering just fine...Brad makes a great nurse and is taking wonderful care!

Icing my tummy. Not bad doctor's orders for this hot day:)

2 comments:

  1. God is good! Praising Him that your surgery went well and that you're feeling better.
    I can completely relate to the OR experience....kind of surreal.
    -Emily

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  2. Thankful your surgery went well and you are feeling better! I had gall bladder problems during my last pregnancy and it was MISERABLE. Here's to enjoying food again!

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