"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven."
My mind is full of tidbits...nothing fully processed at this point, just a bunch of unrelated things bouncing around, waiting for me to somehow slow down enough to do something about each one, as they are all in need of attention right now. Even when my calendar doesn't look full, life seems to be busy right now. Here are just a few things I've been thinking about lately...
I feel like when Addison was younger, she was getting lots of one-on-one attention from me. I was actively teaching her, making everything fun, yet learning along the way. Then Lily was born. For awhile, I think things stayed the same, but now that Lily is a toddler herself, I feel like I'm not doing a good job with either of them (in the area of teaching/being creative/letting them create). Lily definitely hasn't got the same time with me that Addison did, when I would walk around, showing her objects and just having one-on-one time. And Addison is ready to be doing craft projects beyond just coloring, and doing projects that teach her numbers, letters, etc., but Lily isn't old enough, and it may sound like a lame excuse, but it's been hard to find time to do age appropriate things with them separately, and they simply aren't at the same level (Lily isn't ready for glue and scissors, and Addison is past wanting to move objects from one container to another, that kind of thing). All that said, I'm tired of making excuses, and I've got to make a way, make time for doing more with each of them, even if it means putting them on separate nap schedules. I've been looking on Pinterest for Montessori style toddler activities, and have found some really fun things I'm excited to put together for them! More blog posts on that as they happen:)
Next thing I've been thinking about a lot is kinda funny, or at least the reason I started thinking about it is funny. I was talking to someone the other day, and she was making fun of a friend of hers who's always telling her she needs to 'slow down and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.' She found it annoying, but I seriously haven't been able to get it out of my head! How true is that statement! And what is the destination, anyway? (Figuratively and literally...in her case and in her defense, this entailed her friend wanting to stop a thousand times on a short trip, making the trip hours longer than she had anticipated) There are days when I sigh a lot and keep looking at the clock, waiting for Brad to be off work. Hard days where the girls are bickering and being disobedient and making disastrous messes and peeing their pants and throwing tantrums. But I'm realizing that that's part of the journey! Yes, these toddler years are hard in many ways, but oh so wonderful in many, many, many ways, and honestly? This is the destination I have been waiting for for so many years, so I wonder why, why do I find myself sometimes waiting for the day to come to an end, instead of enjoying the ride, whatever it brings each day? If I'm always looking for a new destination, I'll miss the sweetness of this one. I'm trying to have that attitude about all things in life. Even road trips...so what if we have to stop four times for snacks or poopie diapers or potty stops? It's just part of it, and getting annoyed will only facilitate negative and anxious emotions, whereas being more laid back and not worrying about time really, honestly makes the 3-turned-into-5 hour trip much more enjoyable!
Last, well, not last in my mind, but last for now because that's all I care to write at the moment, goes along with the last one, in a way. Routine day in and day out are okay for some people. Us, not so much. I think part of enjoying the journey of everyday life is adding some spontaneity to it. Mixing up the routine, even if you are exhausted. Not settling for what everyone says: "Oh, it's just a season, it'll pass!" I hear this all the time, and yes, it is a season, but I think I've given in to that as an excuse too much lately and become lackadaisical about things I used to be intentional about. Mostly in my marriage. Things like making his favorite foods for dinner or snacks, leaving him notes to find at a random time during the day, taking the time and effort to plan something special and out of the ordinary when it's my turn to plan our date night every other week. I've been in a rut and chalked it up to having two babies and a surgery, followed by a year of not feeling well, all within the first few years of marriage. I'm ready to step--no, to leap!-- out of that rut and start fresh. I'm feeling better finally (praise God!) and Spring is coming, the sun is out more and temperatures are above freezing. All of this is motivating me and giving me a fresh new outlook. And you know what? I think sometimes God puts us on our behinds to teach us something, to keep us from something, or to force us to slow down for a bit. For our own good, even though we don't see it that way all the time. That's what I've felt like lately. Like He knew some reason that I couldn't see that I needed to slow way down, but He knew I wouldn't do it on my own. So He, in His sovereignty and goodness laid me low for awhile. But I feel like that season is coming to a close, I can just sense it. Like the snow slowly melting away, (painstakingly slowly it seems sometimes!), so is the season of sheer exhaustion and mundane-ness melting, slowly. In His perfect timing. I still have days I don't feel good, days I'm exhausted and don't feel quite myself yet, and it really does remind me of late winter/early spring. When you get a bit prematurely excited for that nice weather. The sun comes and melts most of the snow and you think winter's over...then it snows another few inches. But each snow that comes is less and less, and it melts a little faster each time. So it is with me right now. Spring really is coming. And I'm waiting as patiently as possible:)