Thursday, February 19, 2015

40 Weeks...But Who's Counting?

This is me. Relaxing with my tea on the porch (STILL 50 degrees and sunny in MT in the middle of February, what!?), confident that baby girl is going to hunker down for a bit longer. Soaking up the sun, watching Addison and Lily play. Enjoying every moment...
Yesterday was officially my due date...come and gone. I expected that completely.
It's funny because I was exactly a week late with both of the other girls, and if I was anxious leading up to my due date, the week after was a thousand times worse! I remember having a near panic attack on our bed one night when I was getting close to a full week late with Addison. Brad had to calm me down, but I just couldn't handle it mentally. I don't know why. I remember feeling so claustrophobic in my own body (that's the only way I could think to describe it back then), feeling so huge and stretched out and miserable, like I physically couldn't carry her anymore. I tried every silly wives tale for inducing labor, to no avail. Nothing worked. Nothing. (I stopped short of drinking a castor oil 'cocktail', which I do believe actually works...but no thanks!)
When Lily was late, I felt the same. Panic. Misery. Get this baby out of me! And I went through the gamut of stupid labor inducing home remedies again, and of course, nothing worked that time either. I was miserable (and probably miserable to be around).
This time around, things are different.
I was kind of a total mess for most of the last two months. Fatigue like I never knew existed. Achy. And worst of all, moody as all get out! I mean, like zero control over my emotions. Crying, laughing, sad, happy, overwhelmed, inspired, angry, annoyed, excited, hopeful...usually all of these in the span of 30 seconds. On repeat. All day, everyday. Try being Brad and dealing with me. I have so much sympathy for him. He's done a good job:) So, all that to say, these past two weeks, the fog has lifted! It's like my previous pregnancies in reverse. I usually don't mind third trimester until the last couple of weeks. This time, third trimester was awful, but the past two weeks have been amazing. My mind seems to have gone back to normal (no more mood swings, praise the Lord!!!) and I have zero anxiety. I'm totally at peace with the fact that my due date has passed and here I am, big as a house and still waiting. In fact, I'm sort of enjoying just relaxing, getting last minute things done, and nesting (that's a real thing, in case you didn't know. I've cleaned out junk drawers, closets, totes in the basement, taken carloads to goodwill, recruited Brad for things like cleaning ceiling fans and washing windows, and organized everything I could get my hands on. It's so much fun! And Brad thinks I'm nuts.) I've gained a tiny bit more weight this time than the previous two, but strangely, I don't have that miserable, stretched-to-the-max, get this baby out feeling this time. I truly feel so peaceful, and enjoy watching my belly dance around as she does her thing in there. Maybe it's because I know this is possibly my last pregnancy and I want to savor the good parts. Maybe it's because I was fully expecting to be late and have been mentally preparing for it. Maybe it's God's grace to me, pure and simple. Or all three. Maybe it's my amazing chiropractor, whom I joked to Brad that I just might be in love with. I don't know how I did pregnancies with out some chiro care in the past! What a difference it's made!!! Anywho...I feel like a million bucks. Ok that's stretching it, but I feel dang good for being over 40 weeks pregnant.

This is at 38 or 39 weeks, I forget.
I don't normally take 'selfies', but I think a pregnant belly is one of the most beautiful things, so I shamelessly snap away! (Rarely does my face get to be in the picture;))

This. This might be the most impressed I've ever been with Brad. He goes above and beyond all the time, but this time...sneaking tulips in the door with out me noticing, and finding these antique coke bottles in the pantry to use as vases. So simple, so lovely. So my style. I couldn't believe it when I saw them. I just had to take a picture and share. He doesn't understand why all the fuss, he claims he's not creative, but that he couldn't find a vase and thought these bottles 'would do'. Whatever. I thought it was so thoughtful, and to top it off, a dark chocolate bar with espresso beans:)
Well, that's all. It's one of those disjointed, rambling posts. Just sharing my thoughts as this pregnancy comes to a close.
I'm always so happy for it to be over, but a tiny part of me always misses it. So I'm savoring it.
You in Nashville...hope you're enjoying the "MT weather"...we sure are enjoying a TN spring up here! :) :) :)

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