Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Ups and Downs of Parenthood

The girls are down for a nap.
I cleaned our bedroom, put on my only sweatpants that are still fitting comfortably, made a green smoothie, and turned my diffuser on with some Lavender and Stress Away (does it take stress away, I don't know, but it smells so good that it makes me feel happy!)
And I have 6 pillows propping my enormous (see 37 week picture below!) self up, and I'm actually pretty comfortable, which is unusual these days!
Life is good.
Two hours ago, we were spending the morning at the car mechanic, getting what we thought was a small, inexpensive problem fixed...it turned out to be a big, expensive problem that took a reeeaaally long time. Sitting with Addison and Lily in the waiting room of the mechanic shop...not ideal.
Getting home and having lunch, then stalling on putting them down for their nap a whole hour later than planned because...get this...they were getting along so well, unsupervised (for the most part) that I thought I should let that happen for as long as possible. I found them in my closet with every single pillow, stuffed animal, and blanket they own, plus the little teddy bear that we got from the 20 week ultrasound (it plays the baby's heartbeat:) ), Addison's arms wrapped around Lily, who was holding baby sister's heartbeat in her arms, and I about died of how sweet it was. Again, life is good.
Walking through Target, telling them for the millionth time (that's not an exaggeration) that they've GOT to stay with me, not to pull anything off the shelf, and not to hide in the clothing racks where I lose them. Having them smirk and then continue doing the same things two minutes later...feeling like I've lost all control, even though I know this happens every Target trip and someday it will get better. Not a good half hour.
See a pattern?
Up and down, up and down.
Such is life with kids, I am learning.
One minute, I'm almost in tears over how beautiful my life is, how blessed I am, how sweet my girls are, how much I love being a stay at home mom, how I'm living my dream come true, how I wouldn't change a thing.
The next, I'm almost in tears over how no one listens to me (or so it seems sometimes), how my house is filthy even though I just cleaned, how the girls are constantly fighting, and wondering what in the crap we just got ourselves into, having a third one on the way!
I chalk some of this up to extra pregnancy hormones, making me more susceptible to the up and down emotions each day. But honestly, I think it's just part of this stage of life. And while sometimes I question my sanity, I know I'm normal. And I know this is how God is sanctifying me. Every trying moment is a chance to rise above through the power of His Spirit...to put into practice the fruit of the Spirit. And guess what? I fail. A lot.
But I hope and pray that as I look back, I see a pattern of becoming more gentle, more patient and more self-controlled in those moments.
I am learning to make the best of things. (I taught Addison to say that today..."make the best of it!")
I pulled out everything I could to keep them happy and even make being at the auto shop a fun couple of hours today. I gave them each a quarter and let them pick out giant suckers and guess what? It wasn't so boring after all. And at Target, yes it was frustrating, but I chose my battles, and chose not to stress out too much, reminding myself that they are kids and I don't need to expect perfection.
Can I just say this to any moms reading?
Don't compare yourself to other moms! Honestly, there are some Instagram feeds I follow and love, but as inspiring as they are, sometimes they can seem so discouraging! It seems like these families have it all together all the time, but I have to remind myself that they are just picture perfect...literally...perfect in the pictures they post. Because really, who takes pictures of the tantrums, the tears, the fighting kids, and posts them for all to see? Uh, no one. Maybe I'll start doing that:)
We're all in the same boat, so let's encourage each other with honesty. I think we can be honest while still being positive, thankful, and joyful. I'm tired of the fake. I want to focus on the good, but be honest about the hard. Who's with me?



  1. Your words speak so much truth! We shouldn't be afraid to share the downs along with the ups and share that although life is beautiful it is almost always messy...especially with little ones! :)

  2. Amen to that...beautiful but messy:)